There was a time in my life twenty years ago when I was driving a cab for a living.

It was a cowboy’s life, a gambler’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss, constant movement and the thrill of a dice roll every time a new passenger got into the cab.

What I didn’t count on when I took the job was that it was also a ministry.

Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a rolling confessional. Passengers would climb in, sit behind me in total anonymity and tell me of their lives.

We were like strangers on a train, the passengers and I, hurtling through the night, revealing intimacies we would never have dreamed of sharing during the brighter light of day. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, made me laugh and made me weep.

And none of those lives touched me more than that of a woman I picked up late on a warm August night.

I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or someone going off to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.

When I arrived at the address, the building was dark except for a single light in a ground-floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a short minute, then drive away. Too many bad possibilities awaited a driver who went up to a darkened building at 2:30 in the morning.

But I had seen too many people trapped in a life of poverty who depended on the cab as their only means of transportation.

Unless a situation had a real whiff of danger, I always went to the door to find the passenger. It might, I reasoned, be someone who needs my assistance. Would I not want a driver to do the same if my mother or father had called for a cab?

So I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail and elderly voice. I could hear the sound of something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman somewhere in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like you might see in a costume shop or a Goodwill store or in a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The sound had been her dragging it across the floor.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. “I’d like a few moments alone. Then, if you could come back and help me? I’m not very strong.”

I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm, and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

“It’s nothing,” I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said. Her praise and appreciation were almost embarrassing.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”

“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”

I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

“I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I should go there. He says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to go?” I asked.

For the next two hours we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they had first been married. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she would have me slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. Without waiting for me, they opened the door and began assisting the woman. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her; perhaps she had phoned them right before we left.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase up to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered.

“There are other passengers,” I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held on to me tightly.

“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”

There was nothing more to say.

I squeezed her hand once, then walked out into the dim morning light. Behind me, I could hear the door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I did not pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the remainder of that day, I could hardly talk.

What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? What if I had been in a foul mood and had refused to engage the woman in conversation?

How many other moments like that had I missed or failed to grasp?

We are so conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unawares.

When that woman hugged me and said that I had brought her a moment of joy, it was possible to believe that I had been placed on earth for the sole purpose of providing her with that last ride.

I do not think that I have ever done anything in my life that was any more important.

Elena’s Comments:
This is just one of the amazing life lessons we often come across. What are some great moments in life that has caught you unawares?

By Kent Nerburn
Adapted from “Make me an Instrument of Your Peace”
Article as seen on http://www.zenmoments.org
Revised and edited in May 2012, at the author’s request, to accord with the original.
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The power to pass judgment on other people quickly is widely practised, and most times it breaks relationships and causes personal stress. It is good to be able to look at our thoughts and speech from time to time, as a mirror of how we’re responding in the presence of others. This article below talks about expectations and knowing what they are. If we realise at some point that our expectations are unsupportive to our relationships and ourselves, then it may be time to change our thoughts.

As children, we are very open and happy creatures. Excited about life (or what we perceive it to be) and rarely disappointed for prolonged periods of time. The most earth-shattering thing to some children is not getting what they want when they want it. Thank goodness children are resilient! As adults, you’d think we would be more resilient but children don’t hold on to heartache and grudges as long as we do. Over time, we learned to hold on to those things that hurt and disappoint us, particularly when those things aren’t going our way.

One of the biggest causes of conflict and anger are unmet and unrealistic expectations. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying not to have expectations, but quite often they are not always rational. We become disappointed by what we think people should do, how they should treat us and how they should act, instead of being realistic and realizing that we have no power or control over any of these things. Recently, I conducted a workshop on Anger in Relationships and the overall theme was how to move our thoughts from unrealistic, irrational, unhelpful thoughts to more rational thoughts. One of the participants could not wrap his mind around the fact that he might have to accept a person for who they were and not for what he wanted them to be.

Expectations will only disappoint if they are unrealistic. Don’t lower them but be realistic about them. If your children never clean up after themselves and you always find yourself stressed and frustrated about it…even though they didn’t clean up last week, last month or last year…why do you keep getting upset about it? Does it make a lot of sense to continuously get upset if you are pretty sure of what the out come is going to be? If the same things continuously anger you, then it might be advantageous to change your expectations of it to reduce your level of anger and not be so stressed.

If disappointment through conflict and anger has become the story of your life, think about how to be more realistic. Here are 7 tips that might assist you in not making expectations your enemy:

1. Realize that people are human and fallible and they WILL make mistakes AND
so will you.

2. Not every situation will turn out the way you want it and it is NOT the end of the world.

3. Compromise, negotiate, and collaborate as often as you can because at the end of the day, we won’t always get what we want all of the time.

4. Be Easy! Don’t be so hard on yourself. I myself am a victim of “I should have done better”. You may have done the best you could at the time and know that the next time you will do better.

5. Don’t put anyone or anything on a pedestal, if you do, you are sure to be disappointed.

6. Talk to whomever disappointed you; let them know how you feel in an
assertive manner.

7. Set realistic boundaries. Let others know what is accepted within these limits and what is not. But even if they go out of bounds, it is not the end of the world. You might learn something about yourself in the process.

Accepting people and situations as they are is hard, no doubt. However, if you are often frustrated due to your expectations not being met, then doing the hard work of changing the way you think may not be a bad idea.

Neca C. Smith, Ed.S., LPC, CAMS, is a Certified Anger Management Specialist, Licensed Professional Counselor, and Consultant in Atlanta, Georgia. She owns and operates AidevO People Consulting, LLC, an organization that specializes in helping professionals reduce anger and conflict in the workplace. For more information, please go to http://www.aidevo.com

Elena’s Comments:
I slap myself whenever I realize I’m demanding unrealistic expectations from others. If it’s unrealistic expectations from myself, I label it as optimism instead What about you?

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If selected, your footage could air on the Oprah Winfrey Network as part of the ‘SoulPancake’ television series debut, and you can share your bit of love to the world too

LOVE THROUGH MANY LENSES

The closing date for video entries is  no later than Friday, September 14, 2012.

 For more information about video entries and specifications, go to http://soulpancake.com/own

Making money is great, but so is making sure we grow ourselves that we become a better, all-rounded person to offer to the world.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUAtVyWS_4Y

Do you continue to educate yourself after finishing school? What do you do?

If a Man Wants You
By: Salma Rumman

This advice was passed along to me from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends.”

A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

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Elena’s Comments: What do you think about these advice? How does it help you? Do you need to re-evaluate your current relationship if it hasn’t been a healthy and supportive one so far?

In a metaphor of driving a car, a prayer isn’t like a spare wheel that you pull out in times of trouble, it’s the steering wheel that guides your route throughout your journey. And as you make progress in this area of life you will come to realise just how important it is to exercise that spiritual muscle of yours. Here’s an interesting article on how to visualize a prayer, and it gives us some insight on one of the ways to do it properly:

A prayer is a wish that comes from the heart and is carried across Nature to the consciousness of our Creator.

In order for a prayer to be effective, you must understand the reasons for wanting what you’re asking for. Is the wish in harmony with the laws of nature? Will its accomplishment bring harmony to those who will be affected by the desired change?

It’s important to understand that, whether our prayers are answered or not, we will continue to live our life in one of its many possibilities. And what we consider our best option might not necessarily be. When prayers are not answered in spite of our good intentions and efforts, we need to realize that maybe the desired outcome could have brought with it unforeseen, devastating results. Most of us are unable to see what’s around the corner, so what seems like a great opportunity in the making, could be nothing but a mirage. This is the reason why prayers should always end with a statement that acknowledges that the prayer should only be answered if it’s in accordance with nature and in the benefit of all people involved.

Visualizations are a great way to send out a prayer. Do not try to figure out how you’ll get from point A to point B, but rather focus on the end result. Find a peaceful mental state by doing some breathing exercises while trying to keep external distractors at a minimum, and mentally or orally say your prayer.

Types of Prayers -

To Give Thanks -Remember to start your day with a prayer for the new day and for the many possibilities that will come knocking at your door. As you get ready to say this prayer, take inventory of all the things you are grateful for – health, family, friends, job, comforts, home, neighborhood, country, and the natural resources that are available to you. Focus your attention on one of these things and send out your message from your heart. Make sure to include a wish to continue enjoying this gift for as long as possible.

To Bring Upon a Change For The Better -Find your meditative state, and direct your thoughts to whichever sacred entity appeals to you most. Visualize this entity in its natural habitat, listening attentively to your words. Let him/her know that the results should only come to fruition if they are in accordance with everyone and all of nature, and end with a statement of gratitude. Place the prayer in the back of your mind with the certainty that it’s already being worked on and your wish will soon be granted.

To Restore The Health of A Loved One – Bring yourself into a meditative mental state, and visualize the entity you’re praying to standing in front of you. Ask him/her to intervene in order to bring health to the person. Picture your loved one lying in your arms and allow the love you feel for him/her to unfold in the form of a beautiful light. Spread this light over the image of your loved one until it surrounds the entire body. Give this light life. Picture it taking the shape of ocean waves – crashing against you and sweeping the illness off the person. And visualize the entity you are praying to claiming and cleansing each wave before sending out a new one. As this happens, begin to see the signs of health in the face and body of the person you’re praying for. Once your loved one is completely cured, give thanks to the entity and try to capture the feeling of gratitude and happiness so it may stay with you for the rest of the day.

To Bring Peace to A Place or A Relationship – After reaching a relaxed, meditate state; visualize the workplace or home as you have been experiencing it up to this point. Visualize the purity of your desire to make things better. Allow it to emerge from your heart in the form of a thread of white light that swirls and spirals upward as if it were a string of smoke. Direct this light to touch and wrap around each person involved. As it does, picture the individual changing his/her attitude towards the problem. Continue doing so until the light has connected everyone like a web. Use your energy to promulgate peace and tranquility, and relish in this sense of accomplishment. If you feel the need to involve a sacred entity into this visualization, then think of the light as if it were streaming from his/her hands until order is restored. End this prayer with a sincere statement of thanks, and rest assured that peace and love are on their way.

Prayer For Protection – Whether your concern is for your own safety or the safety of someone you love, there are ways to bring forth protective energies that will serve as a shield. Reach the meditative state by remaining calm and keeping fear away from your thoughts. Think of you or your loved one and call upon your or his Spirit Guides. Imagine their presence as if they were in the room with you. If your imagination can’t go as far as picturing their faces, then think of them as silhouettes made of light. Have an honest, heartfelt conversation with them, asking them to provide spiritual and physical protection and visualize them forming a circle around the person you wish to protect. Freeze this image in your mind, and keep it with you at all times. Whenever you are in fear, go back to it and rest assured that Spirit Guides are working along with Angels and our Creator to answer your prayer.

If Derailed, Don’t Go Back – It’s important to keep in mind that despite the inevitable assumption that we know each other better than anyone else, the truth is that our limited vision doesn’t allow us to foresee the future. As a result, we are completely clueless as to what’s best for us.

When your plans are altered by outside forces, do not try to fight to stay on course. When something derails you from your tracks, continue moving on without turning around. It can only mean that you are on your way to find new, exciting experiences that you never accounted for. Remember that the life you are living is nothing but one of many possibilities. It can change at any given time, bringing new lessons, new people, and new experiences to help you grow as human being.

By Klara Wieck

Ready to Heal Yourself? www.SilvaMindBodyHealing.com If You Truly Want to Heal Yourself Download This Free Healing Exercise
How To Do Meditation? www.SilvaLifeSystem.com Easily Learn How to Meditate Download Free Meditation Audio
Meditation Techniques MorethanMedication.com.au Learn how to maintain calm. Tips and useful relaxation advice.

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Elena’s Comments:
Every moment is a prayer in motion. The more you are grateful for, the more you will receive. And the more spiritual muscle you develop, the more you’re opening yourself up to success in all areas of your life. All successful people have a balance in their life, so if you choose to be successful, don’t neglect this important area of your life.

Please share and comment your thoughts below…

People who seek spiritual enlightenment always talk about being detached from material things, and it’s not just money they’re talking about. Because frankly, how many of us can truly be detached from our mobile phones or internet for even a day without experiencing withdrawal symptoms?

The truth is, having less stuff not only frees up physical space, but it clears up mental space as well. We operate on a subconscious level where we project out to the physical world, what we’re experiencing in the psychological world. If my mind is cluttered, confused and frustrated, then it manifests itself in the outer world by displaying a messy and disorganized room/workplace. So read the physical signs if you want a clue on what is going on behind the curtains of your subconscious, and seek to improve constantly.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8YJtvHGeUU

To have less stuff, is to have more.

Be brave and toss out the things that don’t serve you or your future anymore. Donate those clothes and books you’ve never touched in the past 18 months.

Create that space for it to serve you, and have one less baggage for you to worry about.

… any thoughts and comments? Please share below.

Below is an article that explores the virtue of Gratitude in an easy to understand and apply format. You have to put your self defenses down and open up if you really want to find happiness in life, and it begins with Gratefulness:

If you're feeling down, here's a picture of a shaved llama to get you through ... things could be worse!

Gratitude is a wonderful feeling. It warms the heart, lightens our load, and brightens the day. We can feel it anywhere, at any time, and it’s free. Gratitude embodies love, joy, contentment, happiness, and peace. It has one of the highest vibrational frequencies. It is the gateway to love.

Gratitude comes directly from our natural brilliance. In a state of gratitude, we are thankful not only for what is, but for the potential of the moment. We know with certainty that anything is possible and we celebrate this awareness.

Gratitude shifts our viewpoint in an instant. It is the shortcut to happier feelings. Without being aware, without reminding ourselves to dismiss a thought, a simple connection to gratitude immediately moves us to joy.

Not only does gratitude shift our attitudes and viewpoints, it has the ability to transform our lives. In a state of gratitude we, as creative beings, are able to bring forth the very best we can imagine. With the understanding that we are always in the process of creating our lives from our thoughts, charged with our feelings, we move all that we are into unlimited expression when we move into gratitude.

Appreciating All that Is

Gratitude is appreciation for what we see, hear, feel, and experience. It occurs in the moment. Our heart swells with gratitude when we hear our children laugh or listen to birds sing. A magnificent sunset can dazzle our eyes and open our hearts. Have you ever lain on a beach at night and watched the sparkling stars, feeling like you were one with the universe? These experiences fill our hearts with gratitude and happiness as we are aware of what is.

From the time we’re small we’re taught to make wishes; for example, to wish upon a star, throw a penny into a wishing well, or make a wish before we blow out our birthday candles. Wishes can help us connect with our desires for the future, our hopes, and our dreams. As we grow older, our wishful thinking may become, I wish I hadn’t said that or I wish I hadn’t done that or If only I had…. These wishes connect with our past and express dissatisfaction with what has occurred. Because these wishful-thinking habits focus on either the future or the past and shift attention away from the present moment, they lack the power to create anything new. They only recycle the past.

Wishful thinking is tinged with a sense of lack, of regret or sadness. Creative power is charged with feelings of gratitude, abundance, and well-being. We can turn a wish into a creative thought by expressing a desire in present terms, stating it as though it is already ours, and seeing our wish fulfilled. For example, we might want a happier home, so we start focusing on and being grateful for the happiness we already have. By feeling truly grateful for what we have now, we automatically increase it. This is the law of gratitude. It expands the desire we have in the present; changing “wishful” to “grateful” gives power to its creation.

Accepting All that We Are

Each of us is an amazing, awesome source of life and love. Once we recognize we are brilliant, incredibly wise, and powerful, our love of life grows. We can experience the beauty in every moment and the happiness that comes from this awareness. We have an unending supply of gratitude that inspires us and fuels us to actively participate in the dance of life. When living in this state of gratitude, we feel loving, joyful, youthful, supportive, positive, abundant, and happy. We see life as rich, fun, and magical.

A good friend of ours decided to stay in the groove of her innate wisdom by using the key of gratitude. She chose to write thank-you cards each Monday to three of the people she works with. Her insight was that this type of gratitude would keep her in the flow of the true purpose of her work. She noted that whenever she is feeling up against the impossible, that one little gift of gratitude to another keeps her connected to her own wisdom and brilliance.

Humility is living up to our greatness and not rejecting it. True greatness includes the responsibility to live from our brilliance. A constant flow of gratitude keeps us moving forward in happiness to share the gift that we are with all of life.

©2007, Back to Brilliance, Excerpt from Activate Your Brilliance.

Back to Brilliance: Living From the Inside Out, is a company dedicated to providing learning experiences focused on the key principles for creating brilliant lives. It is owned and operated by business partners, Lynne Hoft, EdD and Vivian Hildebrandt, MA, who are both veteran educators. Their books, ACTIVATE YOUR BRILLIANCE and STOP STRESS GUIDE; their educational programs: Stop Stress in Its Tracks, Master Your Mindset, and Keys to Brilliant Living: the Art of Living Happy; and their weekly E-zine: The Ultimate Treasure, all assist clients to gain stress relief, create a mindset for success, and create fulfilling lives and happiness..

Lynne and Vivian are experts in understanding feelings, thoughts, and stress management. For a broader understanding of feelings go to: http://www.backtobrilliance.com. For more information about creating a stress free life go to: http://www.backtobrilliance.com/stress

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Elena’s Comments:
You can choose to be grateful and happy, just as you can choose to be angry or sad. One way or the other, it doesn’t really matter as you will be putting in the  same amount of energy. So if it’s ‘common sense’ you agree with, then make a conscious choice to choose what you want to feel at any given moment.

Please comment and share your thoughts below and share this with people you care about.

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Personally I’ve had this challenge too. Just like yourself, I’ve been finding ways and means to be disciplined and honour my promise. This virtues card, courtesy of the Virtues Project, explain Forbearance as being patient under these trials for they will soon pass, having a fortitude to keep on keepin’ on, and a spirit of acceptance in trying circumstances. And as we look at virtues like perseverance or discipline, they do sound a little draining, but forbearance is a gentle blanket that encourages us to take the next little steps forward.How do you think Forbearance sits in your life, or trying circumstance that you may be facing right now? Please comment below.

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